im so angery i wanted to go see the mars volta more then anythingelse inteh world and now i cant cause that fucking shit is sold out. wat apiss off eh. but thereis hope. i can go to montreal and not tell my mom. i proposed the idea to her and she jsut flat out told me not i called her an unfair retard and slamed the door..... i haveno money for drinking tonight. lesson of the day dont piss of mommy if theres somethingu want. other then that bitch her out jks

personally i hate this day. i find that the only reason for its existance is for single people to feel sorry for them selves or people who are in a relationship feel oblogated to do something. Its this stupid day created by teh media jsut to make money and of course it does. it was all rainy and slippery today so i didnt go to school i just went to get my courses sined. One of the teachers who sined my sheet, was the teacher whos class i was sapose to be in at that time but he didnt care he jsut laughed and asked me for a pen. alrite i gotta go sew me some curtins

DAPHNE LOVES DERBY LYRICS

"Hopeless Love"

200 miles away from home
200 miles beneath this lake is where my heart belongs
But you don't care at all
You wouldn't even smile if I were screaming as the water filled my lungs
You demand to be chased for your love
My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long
But you don't care at all
There nothing I can do to draw you close to me
Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again
I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow
Please be home tonight
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel
Every time you're here.
What would it take for me to be with you
I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed
I'd go so far to please you but I bet you wouldn't care at all
Hopeless love please leave me
This broken heart is far to weak to run for you this long
Why don't you care at all?
I'm dying for a place in your heart.
Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again
I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow
Please be home tonight
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel
Every time you're here.
Hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me?
This broken heart is too weak to hold your weight
And now I regret the day we met
And help me forget your name.

BRIGHT EYES LYRICS

"I Will Be Grateful For This Day"

I had girl I knew she grew became a woman
now I think that she teaches at one of the schools downtown,
we used to roll the windows down
and play the music loud
smoking out in her car
think its where it stole my heart
and we’d get drunk and kiss
our bodies twist like shoe laces.
And we never came out on top;
I guess you were just my type.
You know that summer never stopped.
I still pretend I’m there.
Bands in the living room,
neighbors ain’t never cared.
So when is sat behind the drum set.
Your heartbeat’s what I tried to play.
With kick and snares so careless not in time.
So you got ahead of me.
And I guess I’m still dragging behind.

I had a friend who changed his name
but couldn’t change himself.
Never quite figured out
how to do with what life had dealt.
He put a needle in his arm
to calm his calm his handsome hell.
who would have imagined it?
Could’ve worked out so well.
Now he’s a shape that moves that moves
like echoes through my empty room.
And a there’s a voice that speaks
like someone’s read up on what I need.
I turned around and found
exactly what you would expect.
Clothes all left on my floor.
the Papers piled left on my desk.
But where the ink is
where the cause effect what’s meant by it
the story is incomplete.
The pictures’ left unfinished.
So I am writing my own ending.
I’ll let my pen bleed black or blue.
And I will color in the meaning.
It will be gold and green and true.
And I’ll learn to love my new discovered proof.
I’ll be grateful for this day.
I will be grateful for each day to come.

its 2weeks until quebec and im so excited. Even thoguht we haev to room with these two other girls from Cawthra tahts alrite cause i still got shelby tonya and carla in my group and we are jsut gonna get fucked up there. All i need monery for is liqure and drugs the restis all secondary.

I dont want to say what it was that changed my life .. but im jsut writtingthese down so i remember and never forget.

rite now im in media arts class. So fucking boring. We have to edit these stupid veideos and i dont no how to do it at all. Almost everyone in the class is done other then me. This sucks. I think half te reason i suck so bad at it is because when i did the other video project before this one i wored with a partner and she didint let me do any of the editing prolly why i no so much about it now. Its just such a piss off cause i ask people for help. well two people inperticular who actually no what they are doing and were done like a week ago. Howevere for some reason they just stand there for two seconds then leave and im still stuck on the same fucking part as i was before just after 10 mins later that were wasted waiting for them to come and help. The reason i took this class was so i could have Mr.P now that ive had him and its been great i think im gonna change my mind to take this course next year. I relized that i hate doing the sit on the computers unles si no how to do it, In this case i dont. Its negative yes but im like that if i cant do it will i wont o it at all as it seems most of the time. It also makes sense for me to take a better course then this once cause i need to haev better xourses for next year. Im going into grade 12 and i dont really haev room for these media arts courses when i can be taking something that will really help me inthe future.

Last night was soo much fun for me. My friends Randy and Andrew took me out for dinner at jack asstors. Dani joined ous as well. I hadnt smoked a blunt in a really long time and it has been even longer since i had one of my favourite Wet Mango. And wat was even more crazy as we were sparking it up we were listening to some Bob Marlery just out side of jakes... bate yes but it was just soo perfect. I was so fucked when i went inside.. and so was everyone else we didnt even relise that we had to order we just sat their drawing on the table. once we relized where we were we decided to strt lookin. I have never had so much trouble picking a meal in my life everything just looked soo good. Andrew dani and I got the best buger and fries ever while randy got chicken wings, by the way htey are very very good. The great thing was that i didnt relise when i leftbut before entering jacks i found my 26er of canadian club. Now on such an occasion we couldnt just have it at such close range and not drink so under the table andrew pored it into and empty class. Just droped a nice lemon in the glass and it looked just liek iced tea. Then we just stared taking gulps outta that bad boy. The best thing was when andrew and randy took the lemon that we put into CC and got them to suck on it. OOOO u could see in their face that it burned.. and those lemones got ous all licked.

the thing about me is that i have no hand eye coordination. Hailey playing hackie sack in tight pants, being partly drunk and riped as hell doesnt really help ither. We just played until randys brother came to pick ous out. we were just two lazy to take the buss home. But we didnt tell him that.

I have never had a surprise birthday party. This year i was close to having one but it never ended up happening. I am greatfull for all the work that was put into the planning of the party and im sad that it wasnt able to happen. Apparently alot of people knew and were coming. I was goin to haev streamers and a sine that said happy birthdaty hailey on it when i walked in. Once they foudn out that it couldnt have happened they decided to keep quite about it and not tell me wat they had origonally had planned. One of my friends had told me the night of however that they were planning me a party. In all honesty i wish they hadnt of told me. I wish that i had kept on believing that it was just this stupid celobration that was just a waste of time but i would haev really enjoyed it. It makes me sad cause my birthday was shit again this year and i did cry again on my birthday and everything always gets screwed up no m,atter how hard people try to have it work.

instead of goin to my none existant brthday party i glomly went with mathew over to a friend of hs house. i made Dan come with me because i didnt really no anyone so i wanted someone to be there that i knew well other then jsust mathew. It turned out that i knew around half the people there. That was a good relief. Everyone told me that they were sorry the party didnt work out. Mathew told everyone about it. At first i was kinda angery liek why did he tell all these people they arnt my friends. When i thoght about it tho i relized that he just wanted me to haev fun and he wanted everyone to know that it was my birthday. His friends are my friends and my friends are his friends he just wanted everyone to know each other. Im very thankfull to haev someone so special and that treats me well.

Yesterday was jokes. Because me and justin birthdays are so close mine being on the 27 and his on the 29 we decided that we would share are birthday party. The 8 of ous being... katheines, gurjit and shivawn my 3 best friends in teh whole wide world. Justin, tony, tim and kayla. This is our group when we hang out. It was really nice just to be those girlcause they know me soo well and they understand me that only a person who has know me for as long as i have known these girls would. However there are a few exceptions.. i have this one guy friend who prolly means more to me than any of my other guy friends. He is simply just amazing... hes the big brother i never had. For those of u who know my brotheryou understand that he is more of a frind that you fight with alot. As i keep gettin off track... The birthday party went well. Canadian Club is the shit! no matter what anyone else says. Drink it!!!